As I drove
to the office alone in my truck with only my thoughts, I smiled at the blue sky
that seemed to go on forever. A lone
puffy white cloud held its point in the sky allowing the sun and wind to move
it, but not change its purpose. For a
moment I wondered why this day with its crisp cool air was any different than
that of a winter day. Spring is ending
in Wisconsin and Father’s Day is almost here.
I looked back at the sky and breathed in the air deeply enjoying the moment
in wonder at God’s incredible power and splendor. I began to appreciate more how much He has
given me and allowed me to see. This day
is just another gracious gift from the Almighty. My mind then drifted to other gifts He has
given me.
I thought
of my son whom I left laying on the couch sleeping off his first day of Summer Break. While he lay there, I kissed his cheek and
hugged him whispering how much I love him.
His eyes opened slightly with a struggle and he whispered back, “I love
you too.” Then he rolled over and fell
back to sleep.
Now as I
continue to drive with all of God's wonder around me, I could feel that love I
have for my son. I could feel comfort,
safety and joy within me. I could feel
what he must be feeling also. I longed
to turn my truck around, go back and hug him again and spend the rest of the
day with him. That is how I feel about
all 5 of my children. And then it hit
me.
So obvious
and simple was it that I could not see it before. It was within me the whole time and I was
looking outside for it. I was looking at
the sky and the clouds; the trees and the river rushing under me. I was looking for it in a hug from my son,
words from my daughter; praise from my wife.
There it was in my heart all along.
I said it
out loud to myself. “If I can imagine
how good my son feels to know that I love him completely, then know that the
same love I have for my son, God has for all of His children. God loves me the same way and greater. He gave his son for me. That’s love.
Stop searching for love outside of you and deepen the love that is
within you.”
As the
words hit the air a sense of complete joy filled me. I have been searching since age 5 for a love
from my father that I assumed I never received.
I searched in so many others, finally understanding that they could not
give it to me. They could only give me
their love; they could not replace my father’s love. Then in the moments it takes for me to drive
over a bridge God’s message to seek out His love, my Father in heaven’s love,
finally hit me and I understood. I know
there will be days in the future when I will doubt again.
I will work
hard to think back on this moment and know that God loves me as I love my
children. Father’s Day was just two days
away. How would I use this new
lesson?
On Father’s
Day, I was tempted to do my typical Father’s Day activities getting away from
my children and spending my time with me doing what I want – golfing, working
out and having others serve me. Instead,
I listened to my wife and used that day to spend more time with my
children.
We drove to
the donut store together and picked out donuts for breakfast. We made an agreement to put the iPods away
for the day. We made eggs for breakfast
and cleaned up together. We went to the
golfing range together and all of us hit balls together. We went to the community pool and swam
together. We went to Grandma’s house and
grilled together, played with the dog together and played in the backyard
together. When we came home, we cuddled
on the couch together and fell asleep together.
I am confident that we dreamed together before waking up together. It was a perfect day spent WITH my children
as a Dad, not alone celebrating my time without my children.
It seemed
perfect and yet something was missing. Then
I realized the day wasn’t complete. I
spent time with myself reading more of the Bible early in the morning and
talking to God strengthening my relationship with Him. I missed the opportunity to spend this time
with God and my children together helping them develop a stronger relationship
with Him and not just with me. God wants
to spend time with all of His children.
He provides the most precious gifts we have and all he asks is for us to
appreciate, love and follow His word.
Don’t all of us as fathers want the same? I’ll work on that God!
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