Just Like Dad

This year’s 4th of July celebration for my family was incredible. Not only were we able to spend quality time with relatives, I was able to learn a great lesson from a 4-year-old boy who just happens to be my son.

We spend several weekends during the summer at my Mother-in-law’s cabin in the woods. Most weekends spent there are relaxing and fulfilling. This weekend was no different. We spent time working on the grounds and finishing a deck. We also spent a good amount of time relaxing on the deck and playing in the water. By the time Saturday night came around, all the kids were ready for fireworks. We had a good set of fireworks that surprised even the adults with some of the spectacular explosions. There were sparkling fountains, loud popping balls, colored smoke bombs, and rocket launches that burst into fiery colors in packs of 100. For a backyard show, it was pretty good.

As we finished our set, the neighbor across the street started his. We were somewhat humbled. His fireworks were like rockets shooting in the sky in this direction, then that direction ending with a big explosion of colors against the black sky. It was great to watch and I felt like I was back in town at an organized show. I took time to relax on Papa’s Deck and watch. I folded my hands behind my head, laid back on the deck and watched the color and sound show. Within in a few seconds, I felt a nudge on my side. I looked over and saw my son Carson laying next to me with his hands folded behind his head. He smiled at me and said, “Look Dad, I’m just like you.” Four simple words, “I’m just like you”, that brought back a sense of purpose to me. I felt a sense of pride and warmth as I thought about how my son wants to be like me. Isn’t that exactly what every dad wants? I picked him up, set him on my lap and watched more of the show with him. He watched the show, but I contemplated his words.

As much pride as I had, I also had anxiety. I started to think about my life and asked myself if I was living a life worthy of my son wanting to follow in my footsteps. Sure, he does now as a 4-year-old who just wants dad to play ball with him, take him golfing, get him snacks and hold him when he’s scared at night. When I set up the 10-foot pool in the backyard, I'm his hero. What happens as he grows and understands more about the world? Will he admire me when he’s 10 or 16? Will he still want to follow in dad’s footsteps? Better yet, will he still respect me and call me his hero, but know that I have taught him to follow his own path?

The questions for me became much clearer the longer I thought. The questions really are what do I have to continue to do and what do I need to change in order for my son and all my children to want to be “just like Dad?” I realized that a purposeful life is not just about fulfilling my dreams. It’s about helping those around me fulfill their dreams too. When I have a tough decision to make or wonder whether the current path is the correct one to follow, I can just ask whether my children will want to follow that path with me.

Let me know what your dreams are and let’s work together to fulfill them.

Gravitational Pull

I am fortunate to be part of a group called Rise Above. We conduct seminars for unemployed community members helping them find hope along with building their practical skills around networking, resume writing, interviewing and financial management. The concept is to first create a positive outlook, and then use that to take effective actions toward obtaining the next opportunity/job/career.

At a recent planning meeting for the group, we sat back and took a look at what we are trying to accomplish – an introspection. We asked ourselves what each of us was getting from this group; what was in it for us. There were common benefits mentioned like building skills, increasing our network, helping others, creating a legacy among others. One that was mentioned by our financial expert struck me. She said she liked the way people in the community are being attracted to us seemingly because of the good we are trying to produce. For some reason, the description gravitational pull came to me and I had to write it down.

My understanding of Isaac Newton’s principles is that gravity is caused by a combination of mass and movement. Specifically, any mass that spins will create a boundary of force drawing other masses to it. In the case of Earth, its mass and movement create a force equal to 9.8 meters per second. I’m not sure Mr. Newton would agree with my definition of pulling people to us, but I hope he would appreciate it.

Newton might have all the physical aspects correct, but I believe he is missing the human behavioral elements. We as citizens of the world can create our own gravity or attractive force by taking positive action. I don’t know that I can measure the strength of the force we generate, but it seems reasonable to me that the greater the good, the more powerful the attractive force.

Our Rise Above team set a mission to positively affect 100,000 people. Since our start we have attracted to us business owners, CEOs, community leaders, university deans, public speakers, authors, health professionals, networking and marketing gurus and more from all types of industries. From them we have been inspired and educated. We have grown professionally and personally from understanding more about all aspects of the people who make up our community. Each has a great story and we love hearing the stories.

When we set that mission, we knew what it meant to affect 100,000 people. I don’t think any of us imagined the positive affect we would have on ourselves or that we ourselves would be included in that 100,000. Gravity has a new meaning for me and that meaning helps me win the lottery.

I Believe In You

I am blessed in many ways in my life. I have a loving and healthy family; friends and colleagues who constantly expand my knowledge and challenge me; a home that provides just enough space to be together and to get away; a cottage up-north that my mother-in-law allows us to share; extended family members who are always willing to help out; a career that allows me to meet so many bright and engaging people. I’ve known about all of these for some time. What I didn’t know until recently was that I was also blessed in one of the greatest ways possible.

Earlier in the year as my customer engagement was ending and the start of a search for the next customer was starting, I talked to my wife about writing books. I had been talking about writing books and building a public speaking career for some time – likely since high school – but never really put full effort toward it. I had actually started several different books, but never finished them.

On this day, I mentioned to my wife again how this year I would finish 2 books and begin speaking about them. I told her how excited I was for that to happen in addition to my consulting career. As I talked about this, Tracy nodded her head and when I was finished, she said, “I know.”

It was a pretty simple gesture with few words, but it had immense impact. I paused a few seconds absorbing her words. I then told her how most people hearing my dreams and aspirations would roll their eyes and think, ‘Here he goes again.’ “But you,” I said, “actually believe in me.”

She replied, “I know that if you say it’s going to happen and really believe it will, it will.”

Since that day, I have completed the final version of my initial book, have been able to set up several speaking engagements to create pre-orders for my book and am within a few weeks of completing my second book. Certainly these were goals of mine before the conversation with my wife, but as we all know, setting goals and achieving them are 2 different things. The power of having one person believe in you gets you from setting to achieving.

Don’t underestimate the power you have to propel others. During these economic times, those struggling need us to continue believing in them and we need to continue believing in ourselves to overcome and create the next great economy.

Seeing the New Economy in My Little Girl

I had the pleasure of watching my niece and my daughter complete their First Communion ceremonies this past weekend. The event is an important spiritual day in our family and faith traditions. Because of the importance it was both inspiring and comforting to watch the two girls display their maturity, confidence and control in following the programs.

A true sense of pride filled me as I watched my little girl walk with her hands held together in prayer around the church in the entrance processional. Another sense of joy along with a pang of separation filled me as I further watched her intently listen to the full mass; her eyes widening as Father Jack spoke directly to the communicants during his Homily.

The pang came from realizing again that my little girl won’t be my little girl much longer. Even though we continually tell her how she will always be our little girl, we know that we can’t stop her growing for one second. And that bittersweet want and ‘unwant’ of her moving down her own life path will only intensify. I thought about this as I watched her in her white dress and veil looking like a miniature bride. And then another sense came over me; a sense of wonder.

As I watched her and the rest of her class line up to take their first communion, I was struck with the realization that all of these young children are growing up. Not only are they growing up, but they represent the future participants of our economy. In fact, they are our future economy.

I watched their actions now more intently noticing the precision of their moves. I noticed how organized they were. I noticed how respectful they were. I noticed how well they followed instructions and moved in sequence to what was obviously a rehearsed ceremony. And when any one of them was confused, they looked immediately to their elder instructor for advice and guidance. Then it really hit me. They will be looking for us for advice and guidance as they build their economy.

If you are wondering what the future economy holds, watch these young children. Admire and praise them when they accomplish even these seemingly simple feats. To them it’s not simple. Then look into yourself and know that we owe it to them to build the world economy back on a solid foundation. When they look to us for advice and guidance, they should see the results not just hear the words. We can create lottery winnings for each of them through leadership by example with this economic recovery. It’s not just about us; it’s also about them.

Rising above the times

On Wednesday, April 1 our Rise Above The Times team completed our first seminar helping those who have been downsized or under-employed by these economic conditions. The purpose of our seminars is to provide some hope and inspiration, then give practical skills on networking, resume writing and interviewing. We end the seminar with a brief look at financial options. See our website for information: http://www.riseabovethetimes.com/.

The feedback we received from the 18 or so attendees was very positive. We received high marks for our speaking styles and the content; particularly around the networking topic. Each of us as speakers was able to bring our personal stories to the event. That really helped to make a connection with the audience.

As nice as it was to read the survey comments after the event, the best feedback possible came during one of the breaks. After 90 minutes we took our first break and I stood by the door talking with one of the attendees. Another attendee, a gentleman who had been unemployed for some time and was getting ready to sell his house, patted me on the back as he walked back into the conference room and said, “Thank you for what you are doing.”

A simple, sincere, unsolicited thank you let us know that all the hours of planning, scheduling and rehearsing; all the issues and mitigation plans were well worth it. With that one comment we all won a piece of the lottery and we look forward to winning more pieces over the next several months.

Burning Ditches

When I was a kid growing up in the country, my Dad had a tradition of sorts. He had us burn the ditches every spring.

We lived about ½ a mile from any neighbors, and our property was surrounded by fields, woods and a small river just past the fields. Our gravel driveway was about 200 yards long and a good portion of it had ditches on either side.

Every winter would pile snow into the ditches. Every spring thaw would form small lakes that eventually dried leaving matted down, dead weeds, grass and the like covering the ditches. On the first Saturday of spring where the sky was clear and the winds calm, we pulled out the shovels, rakes, garden hose, and matches. By early afternoon, trickles of smoke drifted to the sky, the scent of burnt grass filled the air and an ugly black covered the ditches.

Why burn them? I asked that question once. Dad said it was to get rid of all the dead, wasted grass and allow the ground to breathe again. With the ground able to breathe, new life would grow faster and fuller than before. And he was right. Within a few days, new life could be seen; within a week it was flourishing.

It seems to me that many of us need to burn some ditches too, only the ditches aren’t in the driveway, they’re in our minds. We’ve grown so accustomed to a particular lifestyle that was created with a particular job. With jobs being eliminated, it’s time to clear our minds of the same thoughts that we lived by for the past 10 years in order to see the new opportunities that are out there for us. Opportunities exist everywhere; we just need to get rid of some of the dead grass in order to see them.

To help with that, I am involved with a group called Rise Above that is putting on free seminars to help those who are unemployed. The goals are to help everyone find hope, see opportunities, develop resume writing, interviewing and networking skills in order build that next career. The seminars are at Rasmussen College in Green Bay and start on April 1. Look for more information and pass the word so we can make others feel like they've won the lottery.

Feedback

My friend Carl Fisher authors a blog called Reflections. It is a very entertaining blog about his life adventures backpacking, training for another half-marathon, stock market impressions, etc. Because of his blog, I started mine.

He and I recently had a chance to talk and Carl gave me some feedback about my blog. He noted to me that although he enjoyed the writing, it was all about individuals. He suggested I write more about business experiences with Change Management. I initially refuted him arguing that individuals are the ones who make up businesses. Aren’t they? Then I remembered my own advice that I have been providing to customers – ensure that you build formal and informal feedback mechanisms into every change plan.

Whenever change occurs to an individual or an organization, resistance is created. The amount of resistance depends on many factors, but be sure, there is resistance to some degree. An effective change management plan does not eliminate the resistance; the plan effectively manages the resistance. Part of that plan must be feedback.

We can only plan so well based on our experiences and interpretations. We anticipate reactions and plan to manage them. But we don’t know every reaction until it occurs. Effectively establishing feedback channels allows us to receive information about the accuracy of our plans and adjust to the reaction of our business teams (or the opinions of our audience).

In my next blog, I’ll note the primary reasons I have discovered for teams not setting up feedback channels and some of their results. For now, think of each piece of feedback as a chunk of the lottery coming back to you. It helps you grow and serve your audience better.